i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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