I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
