hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
