hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
