I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
