Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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