you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
