pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
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Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
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I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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