got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
