Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
