I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
