Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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