Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
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I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
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Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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