Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
