Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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