is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
it glows. i had to have it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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