Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
