i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
In America we eat man semen.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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