Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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