i will never coherently bang her
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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