it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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