im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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