im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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