You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
