oh god the rape fog is back!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
