if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize