Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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