its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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