I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
