I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
