I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize