you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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