We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
