Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
