You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
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Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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