girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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