Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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