you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
