My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
