Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
