Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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