I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
