You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
