ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
