I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
