1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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