I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
