get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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