watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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