Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
