AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I could fuck to npr.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
