Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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