Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
