you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
