Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
