Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
