I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
