It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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