physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
